Wednesday, November 12, 2014

How to Beat your Cyber-Stalker at their own Game

Unfortunately, there are few laws to protect adults from being cyber-stalked and bullied on the internet and the laws that are in place are only designed to protect victims if they are physically threatened in some way. There are no laws available to protect you from someone who is ruining your reputation by smearing your name in social media, sharing your personal information, creating fake profiles to further harass you, and manipulating and/or intentionally altering photos and videos then sharing them in social media to cause even more damage to your reputation.  Some even engage in self-victimization (a common trait) and publicly post that you are cyber-stalking them. Your only recourse is suing these trolls for defamation, however, lawsuits can drag out for months to years and they are extremely costly and time consuming. Until better laws are in place, your only recourse is fighting fire with fire.

The information outlined below are the measures I have taken to successfully protect myself from perhaps the most notorious cyber-stalker on the internet, Mary Cummins. I sincerely hope this information also helps you in fighting back.

1. Gather Evidence

The first thing you should do is gather evidence, the more you have the better. If you don't have any yet then start gathering it now.

Use screen grabs of your cyber-stalkers posts against and about you, legal documents (if you have them), photos (non-copyrighted or those that you personally own), emails received from your cyber-stalker and anything else that can be useful. Create a folder to keep all of these files and also make a copy of the folder up on a flash drive for safe-keeping.

2. Create "Defense Pages"

Defense Pages may cost you a few hundred dollars but it is perhaps the best thing you can do to protect yourself. You can use, a free service (this blog is on blogspot) or any other free site, but I recommend purchasing websites because you will have more control over the name and content, which is better in the long run. It is important to note that your cyber-stalker can legally purchase domains in your name to try to inflict more damage by creating web pages about you, so you need to beat your bully to the punch on this.

Grab every extension you can afford, such as,,,,, etc, and also purchase variations of your name such as Also, if you know your cyber-stalkers name, then you should also consider purchasing domains in his/her name as well.

On one of these websites you've secured, create a page to explain your story. Using a timeline, tell exactly how this person started cyber-stalking you (here is an example.) If you don't know why you are being stalked add that as well. In explaining your story, always state the absolute truth -  do not stoop to the level of your cyber-stalker. Explain the details of your story as concisely as possible using facts and not emotion (too much emotion will turn readers off). Upload your evidence (screen grabs, emails, photos, etc as described above). Make sure to update all of your web pages as new information becomes available.

Along with the evidence of what your cyber-stalker is posting about you, also provide any proof that your cyber-stalker's comments are false.

After the page is complete and you are happy with the way it appears, copy and paste the contents of the page to the other websites you have purchased, then link all the websites to each other because that will help with search engine optimization. Here's an example:

One of your websites is called "" and another is called " (notice the only difference is the dash between the your and name).
At the very bottom of, add this line: "For more information please see"
At the very bottom of add this line: "For more information please see"

3. Alert Everyone you Know

Once you have your web pages created, share one of them with your your boss, your co-workers, all of your friends and family, and everyone else you can think of. Let the world know that you have a cyber-stalker. Don't be afraid/embarrassed to meet this head on and cut your cyber-stalker off at the pass, even if it means showing others what your cyber-stalker is saying about you. The more people who know, the less damage your cyber-stalker will be able to inflict.

4. Contact Law Enforcement

Go to your local police station and ask to file a harassment report against your stalker. Be sure to share your web page with the police, in particular, any cyber-crime department they may have available. If your cyber-stalker becomes a danger to you, the police will already have access to the history of your case via your website.

5. Use Social Media

First and foremost, lock your Facebook and other social media pages down tight so the only people who can see anything you post privately is either friends or just you (no "friends of friends" or "public").

Never ever, under any circumstances, engage in direct dialect with your cyber-stalker. When your cyber-stalker posts comments about you or tries to harass you on public pages, DO NOT  address him/her personally, instead state something to the effect of "The person who made that comment about me is cyber-stalking me. Please see my website for more information:"

Do this every single time your stalker tries to bully you. If your stalker is the typical coward that most bullies are, he/she will run with her tail between her legs to find another victim.

6. Lastly...

Remember, you are not alone! There are loads of people just like you who are also fighting back. Please join us at Stand Up to Cyber-Stalkers.